Modern Family

Sunday's are my favorite day of the week.  No work, no errands to run.  Just church, relaxing and family.  Caleb went to his first non-family birthday party today and had a great time.  I'm always so thankful when we go to a function like this and the kids are excited to see him and run up to him.  You see, Caleb has struggled with not functioning socially like other children his age.  When he was 3 years old we had him tested through the CISD and their non-medical diagnosis was Aspbergers.  So we had an IEP set up and he has been getting  GREAT help from the MPS system in dealing with his issues.  In the beginning I was against  having him medically diagnosed and stigmatized.  He has greatly improved over the last 4 years.  However, this past year has been very trying on my little family.  We have seen a regression in him, mostly since November when his dad moved to France to be with his new wife.  You see Caleb's dad was a stay at home dad and a part of the kid's life 24/7.  Even after he moved out he was with the kids a good chunk of the time.  Now that Caleb's interaction with his dad is based on phone calls weekly Skype visits he is not functioning as well as he was.  I look at it like not being able to understand how you're feeling and not understanding how to process the feelings.  Whenever you ask him how he feels about anything that bothers him his response is "I don't know".  He doesn't like talking about it at all.  I came to the conclusion a couple of weeks ago, through discussion's with the grandma's, that it is time to have Caleb medically diagnosed.  I need to get him every tool possible out there to help him deal with emotions and how to socially interact with others.  We had his first appointment on Friday with the family doctor.  Pretty much they think he has a mild form of something on the Autism Spectrum Scale. He has regressed due to the high stress of his precious little life lately.  They kept reassuring me that it was mild.  They think that with the official diagnosis and getting him behavioral therapy that we should be able to help him get things under control.  Unless he is diagnosed with ADD or ADHD he shouldn't need medication.  I was very relieved to hear all of this.  As a mother you just want your children to be happy, more successful than you were and to enjoy this life they have been given.  When you have a child who doesn't function "normally" you are constantly worried about how they are behaving and are they fitting in with those around them?  Caleb is young for his grade.  He won't be 8 until October and everyone else in his class has turned 8 or is doing so before him.  He is very smart cognitively which has allowed him to be in the grade level he is.  However, if a teacher thinks he needs a little longer before moving on then I am all right with that too.  I have to rely on the experience of others when it comes to these things.  Thank goodness I have so many supportive and knowledgeable people in my village who truly care for Caleb's well being and are willing to approach me when the subject is a sensitive one.  No one wants to think their child is different and not able to keep up.  I am learning to have faith in the Lord's plan.  Do I wish that I could give my children back a normal family with a mom and dad all living together who love one another?  Absolutely.  Will that ever happen?  Not with their dad.  And he may never move back here permanently again.  I have got to keep on keepin' on and help my children to be strong, independent and able people.  And for Caleb that starts with a medical diagnosis and getting a bigger toolbox to keep all of our tools in.

Tonight I graciously invited ourselves over to my sister Jessica's house.  They were thrilled with the idea of being in my company, especially Sonny.  We ate spaghetti for dinner and I started her on her way of becoming addicted to Pinterest.  The kids played happily in the basement while Jess, Sonny and I started watching episodes of Modern Family.  I have always wanted to watch the show but never remember it's on.  Watching Claire and Phil with their three kids made me long for a "normal" family for my children to grow up in.  I was nostalgic and remembered the good times we had as a family.  But watching the show made me realize that my little 3 person family is my own version of a modern family.  While it isn't what I dreamed of while growing up it is our reality.  So here I sit typing in my chair with Layla draped over the back.  Her head on my shoulder while she snores away without a care in the world.  Caleb is in my room watching some show about a guy named Fred.  If there is anything my kids take from their childhood I hope it is all of the good memories and always knowing that they were loved completely.  By me, by their dad and by their village.